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5 Badass Badasses from Badass: Birth of a Legend

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What makes for great entertainment? Well there are a great deal of things but one sure-fire way to grab someone’s attention and hold on to it is to have a total badass be apart of the story. Whether it’s as the hero who and stop all that is evil in the world or a villain who is just vile enough while still being clever that an audiences’ eye won’t leave them. Now the book Badass: The Birth of a Legend by Ben Thompson gives a large list of greatest good guys and the lowest of low lifes. I have read it cover to cover three times and here are the five that I found to be the best representations of the word BADASS.

The Daleks

More times than I can count I have explained the world of Doctor Who to people who have never seen the show. While doing that I always have to get to the subject about the Daleks and the quickest way to do that is to say that they’re space Nazis. It is a bit harsh but true, the Daleks are a group of aliens created by a madman, Davros, looking to have his very own master race. If you come across these metal monstrosities the only luck you’ll have in surviving is if you are a Dalek yourself, if not you’ll be “EXTERMINATED”. Now what I think make these figures all the more menacing is that the only thing to ever stop them is the Doctor. Nothing else can or could. To some people they aren’t scary, they just see a large trashcan on wheels. But to those who know the history of these intergalactic creeps know that this all-powerful race is completely terrifying.

Zeus

Growing up in grade school I had a large interest in the world Greek mythology. I read all that my school library had on the subject but it was only later on in life that I realized that those books cut a lot of the story out. The true myths were full of far more sex and violence than I even could have imagined and Zeus had some of the best stories. In the book it talks about one of my favorite stories about how Zeus came to power. You see, Zeus’s dad Cronus heard it from somewhere that one day a child of his will take his place as greatest God in the land so he came up with a plan. When ever his wife had a baby he would promptly have himself a baby sandwich. After a few of her kids were eaten faster than Jimmy John’s can deliver Cronus’s wife decided that she wanted at least one of her offspring to live. So after she had baby Zeus she wrapped a rock to look like a baby, which got eaten, and she left. Later on Zeus became big and strong and brought his dad down after releasing his brothers and sisters from their stomach prison. Now this is just one of the nicer tales about the king of the Gods, feel free to look up more.

The Furies


Staying in the realm of Greek myths come the Furies. Now I don’t recall these from my younger days reading about all the different creatures that existed in the world of the ancients and I’m ok with that. These evil demon women are horrifying. Now the Furies are attractive women who have snakes in their hair and blood coming from their eyes who live in the Underworld. As much as they sound like any goth boy’s dream I’m sure they would change their tune if they ever did any wrong doing. This is because the whole point of these creatures it act as gods of vengeance so anyone that does anything wrong are open to feel their wrath. Even if you had just reasons or tried to make penance for your wrong doing it won’t matter, those evil bitches will make your life hell. Like the story of Orestes which is told the in the book. He wanted to get his own vengeance on his mother and her lover for killing his father. Orestes even got permission from a God to do so but that didn’t matter. Nope, the Furies came after him like a bat out of hell, literally. During all that chasing he built temples in their honor and they eventually left him alone. So it goes to show if you piss off evil vengeance lady gods try arts and crafts because it may save your life!

Professor James Moriarty

Much like the Daleks above, every great hero needs a great villain. Professor James Moriarty could possibly be the greatest villain of all time just based on reputation alone. Because when ever anyone finds a great hero in fiction the immediate reaction is to wonder who his or her Moriarty will be. I would say that he is one of the few characters of fiction that is known by name to people who have never read the story that he was featured in, which is a shame because it was such a good story. He featured in the story “The Final Problem” which was the story where Sherlock Holmes meets his match in Moriarty and both meet their demise at the Reichenbach Falls. That’s right. It just took one great story to take a character to superstardom because he was the only villain to full challenge the world’s greatest detective. Now he has shown up in a few things here and there by people who aren’t Sir Arthur Conan Doyle but I still can’t help but marvel at that just one tale made this man the worst villain ever.

Captain James T. Kirk

This is a man that everyone guy would love to be. Captain Kirk was a man of great swagger, intelligence, and just pure badassness. His job was to captain the USS Enterprise and to explore strange new worlds, new lifeforms and new civilizations while bringing down bad guys and flirting with green women. In the classic series we got the best of the character in that we could see a leader who had to make tough choices and solve the problems the Federation of Planets needed him to. In one episode, “Arena”, we got to see Kirk on a planet with a green lizard alien pitted to a fight to the death using only the nature around them. After a few hand to claw combat scenes, shirt rips, and a crude cannon being made Kirk decides to not kill his adversary but to let him live. This shows that Kirk can hold his own while still taking the moral high ground when needed. Another great moment Kirk’s would come later in his career and he had to take on Khan Noonien Singh. When it looked like the chips were down and he was about to go to that great spaceship in the sky Kirk comes up with a plan to win the day and bring that genetically engineered super villain down. But sadly not all heroes get a good death and Kirk’s was met with the moment where he wasn’t on the bridge but a bridge was on him.



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